Heaviest element known to science discovered in Australia
Scientists purportedly from CSIRO in Canberra, have announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science in Australia.
Originally discovered by Gordon Brown in June 2007, the recent discovery on our doors positions Australia to become a leading global supplier of the inert element.
The element is Governmentium (Gv).
Governmentium has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
The 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert.
Catalyst vs Inhibitor
Even though it is inert, it was only detectable, because it inhibits every reaction with which it comes in contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second to take anywhere from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay but instead, fascinatingly, undergoes a structural reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
Promotion of Morons
In fact, Governmentium’s mass has actually been observed to increase over time, with each reorganisation causing more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion has led some scientists to hypothesise that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
All of the money is consumed in the exchange, and no other by-products are produced.
Decay of Governmentium
Decay of Govermnemtium is rare, and is caused in three main ways.
The most common is for the neutrons to table a motion of no-confidence in the protons. If this passes, the atom will start to decay, and can only be prevented from doing so by the resignation of the Prime-Proton, and immediate and complete reorganisation.
The second possible cause of decay is the assassination of the Prime-Proton, however this usually just results in the appointment of a replacement, from the neutrons loyal to it.
The third cause of decay is a coup d’etat by the electrons, which almost always leads to complete decay.
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